This has been a rough past few days. On Saturday, I found out a good friend had a stroke, and is barely hanging on while being placed on Life Support. Another friend has been camped out in an area hospital while her mother tries to deal with aggressive chemotherapy treatments. On Sunday, the congregation gathered around my Pastor's wife to offer our support at the news that her mother had just died while the church service was still in session. And the final piece of the mortality reminder, my friend and contemporary, Maurice Lucas, has died of bladder cancer at 58 years old.
I'm 54 years old, with a daughter who just celebrated her first birthday. I constantly do the mathematical exercise in my head of how old I'll be when she reaches certain milestones. When she graduates elementary school I'll be 64. At the middle school culmination, I'll be 67. I'll be the 70 year old grandfatherly looking dude in the audience at her high school graduation. And when she flings her college graduate cap in the air, I'll be 74. Unless she decides to take her time and go on that 6 or 7 year plan.
The saving grace for me is that I have been conditioned over the past few years to take it one day at a time. I can't get caught up projecting into the future and getting myself all worked up. But when you have a mind like I do, that is no easy chore. Thoughts of all the things healthwise that could wrong can easily dominate my consciousness. I am on the first day of a 10 day cleanse, and this morning the thought occurred that it may be too extreme for my system. Never mind that I have done this same cleanse 4 or 5 times over the past couple of years and have felt the better for it each time. I'll snap out of my malaise, I always do. I'll keep hitting the gym 6 times a week, ride my bike through the steep, hill ladened neighborhood surrounding my home, and play tennis and basketball with my other kids. I will also cherish this moment within this day, and thank my God that I've been entrusted with the enormous responsibility of nurturing this beautiful gift...
MJ, I had the same thoughts when my kids were born. My oldest is 19 with a 2 yr old son and I'm turning 66. I now think about if I'm fortunate enough to be around when he graduates from high school I'll 81! Sure would be nice! But tomorrow isn't promised, I'm going to greatly miss our friend Lindsey. But he's in a better place and I'll enjoy my kids and grandkid today. Just don't dwell on any of it and enjoy it every day of your life.
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