Saturday, September 28, 2013

THE FAMILY BLEND...

The "blended family" can pose its own unique set of challenges. Shiloh is my youngest of seven children. Yes , that's right seven. There are a total of four women responsible for birthing those seven kids. No, I am not a practicing Muslim nor olskool Big Love type Mormon. I only wish we had that type of "sister wife" comraderie with my "four baby mamma's". Though I must remove the current wife from that grouping, she would not take kindly to being referred to as such. During our more than fifteen years together, she has  shown time and again that she has my back, whatever issues we've had to conjointly stroll through. As you can well imagine, things can get pretty tense trying to make it all work. Varying circumstances and personalties in addition to expectations and obligations, it often times is every bit as confusing as it sounds. You toss in other personal demons I've battled over the years and you kind of get the snapshot of what life for MJ is like in its present rendering . For Shiloh's recent fourth birthday it was attendance by selective invite only. There are off shoot elements in the "blend" that have an oil and water affinity for one another. We have to judiciously rotate birthdays and holidays to make sure the proper balance is achieved. It is distressing for me because I would love for this to  be one of those in a  perfect world situations where peace and harmony abound. It's not even close as of this writing, but a fellow can still dream.

I make no apologies, it is what it is. And don't get me wrong, there are many joyous and wonderful moments. Just not with everyone under the same roof or coexisting in the same location. For someone who watched his parents spend fifty five years of mostly wedded bliss together, the outlook can seem daunting. The Family Afterward chapter  of a widely read self help manual speaks about the chaos and confusion the recovery process can have on those closest to the recoveree. Years of dysfunctional behavior and attitudes take their inevitable toll. The long road to reconstruction is a trying one, but well worth the journey. The bed is made and I intend to sleep in it. Sometimes I wish that's all I would've done...

Friday, June 14, 2013

THE HIGH ROAD

Rarely have I been as excited about an upcoming Father's Day. My son Cyrus and Granddaughter Khalilah will be baptized in a ceremony immediately following church service Sunday. My other kids will pay their respects at some point in the day, always a welcomed chance to interact together as a family. And just to think, I was not sure about becoming a father again at fifty. Shiloh and I have this very pure relationship. She has the utmost trust in me to do what is best for her. She's too young to articulate this sentiment, but just from looking into her beautiful brown eyes I know it to be true. I am indeed a very lucky man to have this continual blessing to care for and nurture on a daily basis. I just asked her if she knew Father's Day was approaching. She told me she did and that she had a present for me, a watch. I hope she didn't jump the gun, but even so, the consideration  for her Daddy was heartwarming. Raising a little girl on a daily basis is so different than it was with the five boys. Shiloh and I can spend hours hanging out with each other. We are really into writing letters and numbers. I trace out one or the other, or use dots as a guide and she has the look of tremendous accomplishment when she completes the task. She is insatiable in her thirst to learn, always begging for more. I have to suggest a break here and there to prevent her from becoming too obsessive about getting it just right. We swim, take neighborhood strolls, workout on the Bosu ball, hang at the park, you name it. A couple of days ago she picked a flower from our yard and handed it to me. I asked her what it was for, she told me she loved me and that "Dad's Day"was coming soon. Thank Goodness for Little Girls...