BABY STEPS

     Some of these "Fish Story-like" tales of early childhood development can really put the pressure on Daddy. Specifically, I keep hearing these reports of toddlers walking at earlier and earlier ages. One parent bragged to me that 9 months was the time that her daughter was up and at 'em. Another made the unbelievable assertion that her boy was fully upwardly mobile at 7 months. What's next, babies Moonwalking out of the womb and exchanging fist pounds with the Doctor? Or maybe even being still ensconced in the amniotic sac, but clearly visible on the ultra-sound, teaching all who watch and care to learn how to Dougie?
     Which leads me to my own little bundle of precociousness, scooting around on all fours, Shiloh. She had her first birthday a couple of weeks ago. I have been working with her diligently, giving the proper positive encouragement and inducements. I guess you could say I have been her private personal trainer when it comes to walking. I have nearly neutered myself with the ultra high pitched pleadings, "come on girlie girl, you can do it girlie girl." In case you didn't notice, my pet name for her is "girlie girl". She seems to take much amusement in watching her Mother and I go through all the histrionics, standing on her own between the two of us beckoning like idiots. She then lowers herself into a squat that would make a Latino street-corner O.G. proud. Ultimately it's back on all fours, as she scoots away from us to find something or someone else a little more interesting.
     Then it happened without the usual prompting from us. She went from propping herself up on the circular table in the den, to taking three tiny, little "baby steps". You would've thought our favorite team had won the big game on a last second shot. The pure elation registered on our faces was palpable. This was the beginning all right, the beginning of the end. The end of that initial stage of life before your kid becomes homo erectus. There is something endearing about watching Shiloh scoot. She is the quickest little scooter that I have ever seen, a real flesh and blood Soap Box Derby race car in action. She gets going in one direction and quickly picks up incredible rates of speed. Like zero to sixty in three point five seconds. I remember those old television shows back in the 60's would have actual crawling baby race segments. Shiloh would definitely be the Secretariat of the baby racers, hands down. Leave the rest of them stranded at the gate, choking on her dust.
     For now she's kind of stuck on those three baby steps. That's her limit, one, two, three, drop. Once she drops, she's back into full scoot mode. And I am really okay with it. After all, she'll start walking full time, then before you know it she'll be ready for school. Then it's high school and dates and proms and dudes showing up at the house and blowing their car horns from the street, screaming "Shiloh, you ready yet?". Man, I am soooo cool with those three baby steps for now...slow down, girlie girl.