THE HIGH ROAD

Rarely have I been as excited about an upcoming Father's Day. My son Cyrus and Granddaughter Khalilah will be baptized in a ceremony immediately following church service Sunday. My other kids will pay their respects at some point in the day, always a welcomed chance to interact together as a family. And just to think, I was not sure about becoming a father again at fifty. Shiloh and I have this very pure relationship. She has the utmost trust in me to do what is best for her. She's too young to articulate this sentiment, but just from looking into her beautiful brown eyes I know it to be true. I am indeed a very lucky man to have this continual blessing to care for and nurture on a daily basis. I just asked her if she knew Father's Day was approaching. She told me she did and that she had a present for me, a watch. I hope she didn't jump the gun, but even so, the consideration  for her Daddy was heartwarming. Raising a little girl on a daily basis is so different than it was with the five boys. Shiloh and I can spend hours hanging out with each other. We are really into writing letters and numbers. I trace out one or the other, or use dots as a guide and she has the look of tremendous accomplishment when she completes the task. She is insatiable in her thirst to learn, always begging for more. I have to suggest a break here and there to prevent her from becoming too obsessive about getting it just right. We swim, take neighborhood strolls, workout on the Bosu ball, hang at the park, you name it. A couple of days ago she picked a flower from our yard and handed it to me. I asked her what it was for, she told me she loved me and that "Dad's Day"was coming soon. Thank Goodness for Little Girls...

CUTENESS UPDATE

Time for another of my tri-monthly updates in this Father at Fifty ordeal. In less than four years it will be Fatherhood at Sixty...great. Shiloh is three years old and her personality is emerging and evolving. The one trait that is most appealing is her concern for Daddy. If I bump my head she will immediately ask, "are you all right Daddy?" She will give my arm an impromptu rub down and willingly shares whatever treats she has. There is a natural shyness around those she first meets, but is all the way live around us at home. One of our favorite past times is dancing  to youtube oldies at the computer. She works up a pretty good lather and will instruct me on the proper technique whenever I try and impress her with some of my old school dance moves. "This is how you do it Daddy, like this." Can't wait until she turns five so we can enroll her in Debbie Allen's Dance Academy.

She is a regular at the family operated child development center. Her best friend is a little girl named Krishay. It's in Inglewood, and she fits in nicely. Her best boy bud is Christopher who is a little chocolate, cute as a button dude. When I pick her up, if I give him a high five, I have to give everyone in the class one too. If I hug my niece Noel, the other kids line up and ask for their hugs too. It's all kind of cute and I am happy to oblige. Never know how much affection they get at home.

The funniest moments with Shiloh at home is listening to her chastise me. It is not an over the top, hash rebuke. But rather one of frustration and consternation. Like when I recently dropped a portion of her chicken nuggets on the carpet. "Dadd-ee", she implores. What else can I do but say, sorry, and kiss them up to God.

I wish that Kiss it up to God gesture was rooted in reality. It would be tantamount to having my own reset button when I have mucked things up slightly past that point of no return. As we approach the New Year, I feel my trust in God being tested daily when it comes to Shiloh, and the rest of those close to me. I pray for His protective covering on them all, like I'm sure parents in recent tragedies prayed for their kids. It is impossible to make sense of it all, as I choose to focus on those things I can control. That is my joy and reverance for this gift of life as represented in Shiloh. And to think, I was reluctant to embrace the idea of being a Father once again at Fifty. It has turned into one of those life changing blessings that only God can provide. I Kiss Her Up To Him, every day...

SHE'S THREE YEARS OLD...

The birthday party is behind us. Nothing like having a house full of sugar fueled, rambunctious 2-5 year olds pillaging the old abode. Some kid named Colton brandishing a Barbie doll like a noonchuk and belting anyone who came within reach was probably the most memorable highlight for me. The hired face painter set up her emcampment around the patio table. This seemed to be the most popular venue at the party. That and the mini-trampoline in the den, languishing right behind my favorite chair. So much for the Ryder Cup. Interesting how the boys declined to have their faces splashed with multi-colored hues in the pattern of rainbows, and puppy dogs, and some other sort of weird Masai Warrior renditions, that for your basic looking white lady, actually appeared pretty authentic. I half heartedly expected a groundswell of muffled chants saying, ZULU, ZULU, ZULU, ZULU... Actually their was one boy that did get into the face painitng. Well, not exactly a boy, seeing how it was my 23 yearold son Josh. His was a solid depiction of a butterfly, all star spangled bannered out  in red, white, and blue. He posted a picture of himself on Facebook with his face painted at a Lupus charity run recently. Is this something I should be concerned about?
Shiloh, the party girl, had a great time. She alternated between the basketball court outside, where her guest entertained themselves with tricycles and scooters and...not much else. We didn't want to do the musical chairs deal with kids this young and aggressive. Potential lawsuits can be expensive. The pin the pony tail on the princess game required a little more neuro-muscular discipline than these youngsters possessed. Except for Bruce Lee Colton, of course. We did have the requisite Pinada (Sorry, can't do the curly Q over the N thing). Our handyman, Raynor, used every ounce of his creativity in making sure the Princess Pinanda was perfectly centered on the court. While observing rope lines running from rooftops to palm trees to telephone poles, to being draped over the top of the basket backboard, I wondered if he had ever served time with the Mexican Special Ops. Had to cajole the liitle crumbsnatchers to let their animalistic natures manifest themselves. They would coyly take the decorative broomhandle like stick and gently tap the thing, like they were afraid to hurt the Princess. It wasn't until my nephew got his turn that things got interesting, Princess be damned. Though we had to ditch the bandana we used to blindfold him. Something about that nasty eye infection of his that caused Josh to alertly and discreetly yell to me, "look at his eye, throw that thing away". The honor method was invoked, sans blindfold. Now, what that usually means if you are like  me, is that you at  find a way to take a little peak. My other nephew, Gene Gene, would have made Abe Lincoln proud. Not only did he not take a sneak peek, but he nearly knocked himself out in the process. Got to love his ethics though. Once the Pinada was thoroughly breached, all hell broke loose. I had to put a moratorium on the older kids and their total disregard for the toddlers' safety. My 9 year old daughter Jasmine was particularly upset, questioning the fairness of it all, while trying to hold on to the 15 pieces of candy in her hands. While 9 year old (yes, this is how we do it) granddaughter Khalilah anxiously panted a few yards away waiting to display another Panther pounce on her Gummy Bear prey. The young ones meticulously gathered their treats with happy smiles plastered on their colorfully painted faces. Just what this party needed, more sugar...

Moriah's Reflections

A Snickers and a lemon soda
after every chemotherapy.
The pain my brother attained
never seemed to be fair to me.
Josh has cancer.
Blood cells from hell
rebel like black panthers.
Prancing on hollow surface with
souls colder than tap dancers.
Mom just wants answers,
Josh wants to get older.
All I want is my snickers and a cold lemon soda..
50 dollars a shot.
I’m not talking drinking Jack,
but about needles invading,
penetrating, into my brother’s back.
I learned to be grateful
for what I have that others lack,
because here my brother’s dying
and my life is still in tact.
Claustrophobia sets in
as my parents are surrounded by the facts.
All I cared about was leaving
so I could go and get my snacks.
I asked mom for a haircut
so that Josh and I could match.
He was still big brother,
so we were attached like a patch
cut from the same mold.
It started getting cold
and Josh was bald by now
so he’d adapt to wearing hats.
I was young but followed rules.
It wasn’t cool to miss school,
so my mother lied and said there was none that day
so I wouldn’t have the blues.
But when we drove passed,
my friend was walking to class
and my tears grew as glossy
as freshly polished glass.
He was at a crucial age,
as I was missing only days,
he missed the whole second grade.
But as a way to aid against this plague
his classmates made plays
that he could play throughout his stay.
As he cherished everyday,
he perished in his weight.
My parents perished from the wait,
Josh would share with me his toys.
They were praying they wouldn’t have to
hold a wake for their boy.
Each day he would awake
they would gain an ounce of joy,
that God’s angel of death
had not yet been deployed.
After 5 years he was healed.
It couldn’t have happened quicker.
It was all in God’s timing,
He showed He is a listener.
Josh is 23 now.
Got the weight back and getting bigger.
And I’m still addicted to my lemon soda
and my Snickers.

WE'RE BACK...

It's been a while since I last made a blog entry. Life being life , I guess. The hustle and bustle nature, the cares of this world, trying to keep ends meetings, are all legtimate reasons for my prolonged absence. It was initially amusing charting the periodic progress I was attempting to make as an older man with a young child. But as could be expected, the novelty soon diminished and the business of responsible parenting became paramount. That is not say that the experience doesn't continue to produce those special moments. The latest of which is a phase Shiloh is in now where she constantly prepares my meals. Sometime invisible ones she'll make in the miniature pots and pans she received as a recent gift. She thrust it in my face and request that I eat it. How can I say no to that? The spaghetti the other night was especially delish, though she made no mention of what sauce accompanied it. If I can locate my long ago invisible friend, Fred, maybe he could shed some light on the culinary makeup of  these meals.  Closer to reality, Shiloh made me an actual peanut butter sandwich on a tiny hamburger bun, at least the top half of it. I must say she did an exceptioonal job, though she ate most of it. It is such a profound privilege to be the father of such a considerate and sweet young lady. Especially when it comes to feeding her daddy, a trend  that hopefully, will last for quite some time.

The Wizard of OZ

I am watching the Wizard of Oz with Shiloh for the first time in her life. I love this movie, always have. So many lessons to be learned, especially about fearing the unknown and the case for fear we can build in our imagination. I'm amazed she is as engaged into it as she is. I'm getting drilled with questions of "whaa happened" all during the tornado scene. Had to calm her down when Dorothy got konked on the head and passed out. She seemed to enjoy the black and white portion more so than the color. My little girlie girl with Film Noir appreciation. Uh oh, the Wicked Witch of the West just showed up and Shiloh is mesmerized. She can personally identify with Glenda, the Good Witch because she sports a Magic Wand much like the one Shiloh got at a Halloween fair.
 Dorothy:"how do a start for Emerald City".
Glenda: "it's always best to start at the beginning".
Sage advice that applies to every major undertaking we may have before us. Every journey starts with the first step, or something to that effect. Like with me, I have a project that NBA star Brandon Jennings would be perfect for. It just so happens that a youth a coach I spoke to today is married to his cousin and appeared in Brandon's recent Under Armour commercial. We exchanged info and he agreed to make the connection for me. It's always best to start at the beginning. Great duet is on now with the Scarecrow, Ray Bolger. Wasn't Michael Jackson this same character in the Wiz remake? Big difference though with a forty something Diana Ross in the lead role. Sort of the neurotic middle aged woman trying to find her way home.
Okay Shiloh is totally trippin' on the beligerrent apple tree dude. Whoever thought of this for the cinema had such the original perceptibility. Looks like my hopes that the two year old can hang for the duration are dashed. Mom just got home from Turkey day shopping and Shiloh is sitting on the Dryer, coloring the receipts from the grocery store vibrant color of orange. Now she's writing on the wall, so I definitely gotta go. She got about an hour into it, I can live with that...

YEAR TWO

Well, the "terrible twos" are upon us. Fortunately the tantrums have been few and far between, as opposed to frequent and in close proximity. There was a mini one today. Whenever I so much as reach for the remote control, Shiloh devolves into a fit of panic, terrified she may miss DJ Lance doing something, anything. Yo Gabba Gabba is indeed her favorite. Hard for me to follow, with the aforementioned DJ parading around in that loud orange costume of his. And I could swear that his voice was dubbed in a similar way as Bruce Lee was dubbed in Chinese Connection. The wife had a friend sew a costume like Lance's, hat included. Shiloh was the epitome of cuteness trick or treating in this get up on Halloween. Much to my surprise, my grandson Will was also DJ Lance. As was a friends toddler, Marcel. Didn't realize Lance was so popular. But Shiloh has eased her way into the realm of two years old. She is pretty easy to put to bed. Long bath and a bedtime story does the job. Our fav of the moment is a Toni Morrison story about Peeny Peeny Butter. It is a little weird, with Nana doing some outlandish stuff on one of her visits. But in the end, everyone is all hugs and kisses. And isn't that the most important thing?...